I got more bad news again today. My beta hadn't changed since Friday. It was still 7.9. What boggles my mind though, are the positive home pregnancy tests I've gotten, Saturday, Sunday and today. I just cannot believe a 7.9 would show up as positive.
I was told to stop the progesterone and estrogen and come back in on Friday to make sure its going down to zero. Part of me wants to keep taking it and hope for a miracle, but the other side of me says let it go and move on.
The problem now is that I feel like I can get pregnant and I really want to try again. Like maybe there is hope for biological baby. I'm guessing this is the same part of me that wants to keep taking the meds.
Unfortunately, we are now100% out of pocket on all infertility and adoption costs and I just can't fathom the financial risk of trying IVF #4 with my eggs and Michael's sperm. I mean we've already had 3 failed attempts.
Showing posts with label chemical pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemical pregnancy. Show all posts
Monday, June 28, 2010
First beta - not so good
On Thursday 6/24 (10dp3dt) I tested with a First Response Early Results home pregnancy test and got a negative. Of course I was disappointed, but at this point, I just wanted to move on, figure out what our next step will be (adoption or donor eggs/donor sperm).
On Friday 6/25 (11dp3dt) I went in for my beta. I told Cindy, my nurse it was negative and she said she would hold out hope for me. I stopped on my way to work, got a coffee, which I'd been avoiding for the last 2 weeks and went about my day.
About 2 pm I get a call from Cindy, telling me we were bot wrong. My beta was a 7.9. Anything below a 5 is considered negative and anything below a 50 is cause for concern for a first beta. She said, in all likeliness, this will end in a chemical pregnancy.
Honestly, I wasn't even sad, I was shocked and couldn't believe this mind fuck game that was about to ensue. This was our last shot for a biological child and I just couldn't believe it was likely going to end in a chemical pregnancy. Poor Mike just kept saying, 'but there's still a chance, right?'
So the next two days I peed on more sticks and this time got positives. I always thought I would be so happy, but instead I was just sad because I had a feeling this would drag out. And is there any hope? I don't know. But I hope so.
I'm still taking the progesterone shots and estrogen patches. I went back for my repeat beta today. I'm guessing it went up since I was getting positives on the home pregnancy tests. I just have a feeling this is going to be a long game that I just don't want to play.
On Friday 6/25 (11dp3dt) I went in for my beta. I told Cindy, my nurse it was negative and she said she would hold out hope for me. I stopped on my way to work, got a coffee, which I'd been avoiding for the last 2 weeks and went about my day.
About 2 pm I get a call from Cindy, telling me we were bot wrong. My beta was a 7.9. Anything below a 5 is considered negative and anything below a 50 is cause for concern for a first beta. She said, in all likeliness, this will end in a chemical pregnancy.
Honestly, I wasn't even sad, I was shocked and couldn't believe this mind fuck game that was about to ensue. This was our last shot for a biological child and I just couldn't believe it was likely going to end in a chemical pregnancy. Poor Mike just kept saying, 'but there's still a chance, right?'
So the next two days I peed on more sticks and this time got positives. I always thought I would be so happy, but instead I was just sad because I had a feeling this would drag out. And is there any hope? I don't know. But I hope so.
I'm still taking the progesterone shots and estrogen patches. I went back for my repeat beta today. I'm guessing it went up since I was getting positives on the home pregnancy tests. I just have a feeling this is going to be a long game that I just don't want to play.
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