First beta - not so good

On Thursday 6/24 (10dp3dt) I tested with a First Response Early Results home pregnancy test and got a negative. Of course I was disappointed, but at this point, I just wanted to move on, figure out what our next step will be (adoption or donor eggs/donor sperm).

On Friday 6/25 (11dp3dt) I went in for my beta. I told Cindy, my nurse it was negative and she said she would hold out hope for me. I stopped on my way to work, got a coffee, which I'd been avoiding for the last 2 weeks and went about my day.

About 2 pm I get a call from Cindy, telling me we were bot wrong. My beta was a 7.9. Anything below a 5 is considered negative and anything below a 50 is cause for concern for a first beta. She said, in all likeliness, this will end in a chemical pregnancy.

Honestly, I wasn't even sad, I was shocked and couldn't believe this mind fuck game that was about to ensue. This was our last shot for a biological child and I just couldn't believe it was likely going to end in a chemical pregnancy. Poor Mike just kept saying, 'but there's still a chance, right?'

So the next two days I peed on more sticks and this time got positives. I always thought I would be so happy, but instead I was just sad because I had a feeling this would drag out. And is there any hope? I don't know. But I hope so.

I'm still taking the progesterone shots and estrogen patches. I went back for my repeat beta today. I'm guessing it went up since I was getting positives on the home pregnancy tests. I just have a feeling this is going to be a long game that I just don't want to play.