On Thursday 6/24 (10dp3dt) I tested with a First Response Early Results home pregnancy test and got a negative. Of course I was disappointed, but at this point, I just wanted to move on, figure out what our next step will be (adoption or donor eggs/donor sperm).
On Friday 6/25 (11dp3dt) I went in for my beta. I told Cindy, my nurse it was negative and she said she would hold out hope for me. I stopped on my way to work, got a coffee, which I'd been avoiding for the last 2 weeks and went about my day.
About 2 pm I get a call from Cindy, telling me we were bot wrong. My beta was a 7.9. Anything below a 5 is considered negative and anything below a 50 is cause for concern for a first beta. She said, in all likeliness, this will end in a chemical pregnancy.
Honestly, I wasn't even sad, I was shocked and couldn't believe this mind fuck game that was about to ensue. This was our last shot for a biological child and I just couldn't believe it was likely going to end in a chemical pregnancy. Poor Mike just kept saying, 'but there's still a chance, right?'
So the next two days I peed on more sticks and this time got positives. I always thought I would be so happy, but instead I was just sad because I had a feeling this would drag out. And is there any hope? I don't know. But I hope so.
I'm still taking the progesterone shots and estrogen patches. I went back for my repeat beta today. I'm guessing it went up since I was getting positives on the home pregnancy tests. I just have a feeling this is going to be a long game that I just don't want to play.
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I really hope it works out for the better!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just a slow starter... totally possible. But you are wise to stay realistic and plan what might come next.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I am five months pregnant with twin girls after donor egg IVF. I endured 3 failed IUIs and 6 failed IVFs before I tried DE. The option saved my life. I'm here for you if you decided to go that route.
Hang tough,
E
I'm holding out hope Love...
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Keep us posted!!!
ReplyDeleteHoping for a positive outcome!! Keeping you in my thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a journey. I can't even imagine how slowly time must be moving for you. I am holding out hope for you. Know that it's OK to be cautiously optimistic and also OK to be pesimistic too. No emotion is appropriate for this whole thing...
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking about you and your DH!